Проверьте, пожалуйста, эссе в формате ЕГЭ To be rich means to be happy. There are...

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Проверьте, пожалуйста, эссе в формате ЕГЭ To be rich means to be happy. There are different opinions about wealth. Some people believe that when a person has a lot of money they automatically become happy, while others believe otherwise. I would like to discuss this issue. Personally I do not believe that being rich means being happy. Firstly, everyone has a different concept of happiness. For many people happiness is the family. Moreover, if you have a lot of money but no family you will not be happy. Secondly, many people work day and night to earn a lot of money and do not have time to rest and see their friends. Constant work will not make a person happy. However, there are people who believe that being rich means being happy. They believe that money gives a person the opportunity to do whatever they want: have fun, travel and so on. These people believe that when you can buy anything you want you become happy. To prove the opposite, as I do not agree with the opinion above, we must remember that money cannot buy friends and family. And without loved ones a person cannot be happy. In addition, a person will not be able to relax and have fun normally without having friends. Rich people may also simply not have time for entertainment because of constant work. In conclusion, I want to say that everyone has their own opinion about wealth. I still believe that being rich does not mean being happy.


Английский язык | 3.7m просмотров
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I don’t see mistakes in the grammar, but you have to use some more comma’s. Also, it would be more better if you stopped using everywhere the same sentences “being rich does not means being happy” or “to be rich means to be happy” etc. Maybe you can exchange one of them for “money can’t afford happiness”. I hope you know what I mean.

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