Вопрос только тем, кто очень хорошо знает англ! Остальные, пожалуйста, не отвечайте! От...

Question

Вопрос только тем, кто очень хорошо знает англ! Остальные, пожалуйста, не отвечайте! От этого эссе зависит моя оценка за полугодие!
Проверьте пожалуйста, правильно ли написано сочинение? Я имею ввиду время, смысл там. Буду очень благодарна если поможете!) В этом сочинении мне нужно рассказать о памятных днях моей семьи!)
"I want to tell you about memorable days in my family.
The first memorably day is wedding anniversary of my parents. They married a
long time. On this day our family dines in the restaurant. Then we walk around
the town, and our parents talk to us different interesting stories about them.
I with my sisters give a present. Usually, we give a family’s photos, cakes, bouquets,
books. They always rejoice, when we congratulate them.

The second memorably day of my family is New Year. Sometimes, our family
invites quests. We celebrate this holiday together. At first, we prepare the
New Year dishes, watching a film “Ironiya sudby”. At 10 p.m. we sit at the
table and speak about next year. Then we spend interesting contests. At 23.55
we prepare to make a wish. At the midnight we make a wish and rejoice the New
Year.

I like to spend holidays with my family together!"

Answer 1

I want(здесь я бы написала I would like to tell ...) to tell you about memorable days in my family. The first memorably(memorablE здесь же прилагательное ) day is wedding anniversary of my parents.(я бы написала my parents' wedding anniversary) They married a
long time. (they have married for a long time) On this day our family dines in the restaurant.(без on просто this day) Then we walk around
the town, and our parents talk to(tell us,ни в коем случае ни talk to us) us different interesting stories about them.(themselves)
I with my sisters give a present.(my sister and I usually give them pretty presents, such as family photos, cakes, bouquets or
books)  They always rejoice, when we congratulate them on their holiday.

The second memorablE day in our family is The New Year. Sometimes, our family
invites quests. We celebrate this holiday together. At first, we prepare the
New Year dishes, then watch a film “Ironiya sudby”. At 10 p.m. we gather togerher at the
table and discuss our last progress and future plans. Then I organize interesting contests. . At the midnight we make a wish and rejoice the New
Year.

Comments

спасибо огромное!)

Answer 2

Написанно без ошибок .....но мне не нравится смысл...очень много местоимения We-мы

Comments

здесь было несколько ошибок