Очень прошу, помогите с грамматикой, проверьте текст. СРОЧНО. Мне сдавать утром....

Question

Очень прошу, помогите с грамматикой, проверьте текст. СРОЧНО. Мне сдавать утром.
Computers in Our Life.
I would like to talk about what is the role of computers in our lives. These machines appeared quite a long time ago, in the middle of the last century. Initially, computers were huge, enormous machines, but over time, their size decreased and the quality has improved. People have invented for themselves indispensable helpers in the work, socializing with friends and in their own entertainment. Computers help to make a person’s shopping list, remind someone of important appointments and anniversaries and answer the telephone. We can`t imagine our life without computers.
Many people get used to such effect and can no longer get rid of it. So there is a dependence on computers and computer games. Of course, this is bad, because this effect destroys the man, his health and life. In the end, he can go crazy as computer addiction similar to drug addiction, from which it is very difficult to recover.
Thus, I believe that people should be able to control their actions and not let the "iron robots" to subordinate themselves and thereby to ruin their future. I believe that we should not zloupotrebliati the benefits that people give computers, otherwise it will be too much, and modern technology will absorb people.

Answer 1

I would like to talk about the role that computers play in our lives. These machines appeared quite a long time ago - in the middle of the last century. Initially, computers were huge, enormous machines, but over time, their size has decreased and their quality has improved. People have invented for themselves indispensable helpers in their work, socializing with friends, and entertaining themselves. Computers help us make our shopping lists, remind us about important appointments and anniversaries, help us answer the telephone. We can`t imagine our lives without computers.
Many people have got used to such state of things and they can no longer do without  computers. So now we can see a kind of dependence on computers and computer games. Of course, this is bad, because it destroys people, ruins their health and lives. As the result they can end up going crazy because computer addiction is akin to drug addiction, very difficult to recover from.
Thus, I believe that we should be able to control their actions and not to make ourselves slaves of "iron robots" letting them ruin our future. I believe that we should not overuse the benefits provided to us by computers. Otherwise modern technology will devour us.